What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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