i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
wow bdsm is so cute
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
