Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
