There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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