Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
