You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
