On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i dont even know how to be here
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
