My friends, they love my intelligence
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
