I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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