i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
