It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
