today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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