Are we in a gay sports bar?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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