They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
