You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
