He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
