just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
