garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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