so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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