Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Terrible idea I love it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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