No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
