Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
