I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize