I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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