The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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