Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
