Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
