Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
