She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
