Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
