you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
