I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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