Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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