just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
