wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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