why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
