I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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