i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
