At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cockslap morals
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
