You're completely useless in the revolution.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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