no. you can't hotbox the world.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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