No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
