I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
