I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
