I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
