i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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