weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
