Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize