I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
