69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
