your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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