Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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