Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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