Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
