Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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