If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
