The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
