i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
