I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
