Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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