He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
